A Grandfather's Blues
페이지 정보
본문
One of the most important jobs, nay, duties still assigned to me in the house these days is to take care of my six-year-old grandson. The care of the boy ought to belong to his mother, I think, but as most of the women do nowadays she works and the most thankless job on the earth falls inevitably into the hands of his grandmother - that is, my wife, and I am obliged to fill in the gaps she inevitably makes from time to time.
What is alloted to me is more of a procedure than of a work. Following the boy's time schedule of the day I go out in time to receive him from the yellow pre-school bus and keep him until his grandmother or his mother comes home. His father? He is always too busy with his work to be engaged in this business.
It may sound easy and simple to you who have had no experience in it, but to those who have will understand the enormous subtlety of the work. In fact, it is much more handful and even laborious work than it looks and seems. It requires physical, mental and emotional ability as well as stability. More than anything else it demands attention and patience.
On the day of duty you should be very alert from the morning. You should not make any lunch or dinner appointment with your friends, or cancel it if you have already made one. You should not be late for the school bus coming and going, nor forget or confuse the time schedule of the boy's. I have already committed the crime of negligence of duty several times out of forgetfulness, and was severely reprimanded each time by my wife, his grandmother, and by his mother, my daughter by turns. They lamented and deplored my declining power of memory and inattention to the mission, and threatened to revoke the privilege of taking care of the dear grandson.
Each time I apologized deeply and sincerely for my unpardonable misconduct, and promised to be more careful and vigilant hereafter, and was generously pardoned. What if, they said, by not my being on the promised spot on time, the dear person should have wandered off, been lost, hit by a car or kidnapped, while he was left alone by himself? They are quite right. We are not living in the Garden of Eden before the fall of Adam and Eve. Anything can happen to anybody anytime, especially to the innocent children. We must be very careful and be extremely alert nowadays.
Left alone at home with him I try to relax on the sofa watching my favorite program on TV, but he does not allow me to do that. He has all the wonderful and very expensive toys under heaven to play and to amuse himself with, but he demands my companionship and participation all the time. It exasperates me, but I conceal my emotion and pretend to welcome his request. He is the only son, and he has no brothers or sisters to play with at home, nor friends in the neighborhood. I feel sorry for him.
He asks me to play card game or any kind of game with him, and I must agree and play it with him, although I don't like it. And I have to be careful not to win too often because he doesn't like to lose, and if he should lose, he becomes very angry, peevish and petulant and threatens to tell her mother on my watching the soccer game on TV leaving him alone on his own way of spending time. Although I haven't done anything wrong, I capitulate and decide to coddle him, because when he really tells a bad tale about me to his mother, she believes him, his dear son, not me. I am sad.
Being tired of the indoor games and plays he says he wants to go outdoors and my heart sinks, but I agree with a sigh. I know he is going to ride a bicycle. Recently he has switched to two-wheeled bicycle from a one that had two little extra supporting wheels added to the rear wheel so that the bicycle might never fall sidewise with him on. With the new speedy two-wheeled bicycle anything can happen during his riding. He may fall or collide with other bicyclers and get hurt and bleed. If hurt, it is the end of the world for my wife - his grandmother and for my daughter - his mother. They think it is entirely my fault, not his. Always, therefore, I have to run after him with my hands on the bicycle during his riding at the risk and cost of my old lungs and legs.
I suggest instead going to the playground nearby where he can ride hobbyhorse, swing, slide, jungle gym, and many other things and I succeed sometimes. When he agrees I breathe a sigh of relief. There he has many of his peers and I can take some rest on the bench just keeping my two eyes on him, and enjoy the scene of the playground.
Sitting on a bench nearby in the playground I sometimes become very philosophical on being a grandfather. Why am I so weak, chicken-hearted, soft, patient, generous and even obsequious before my ungrateful, indifferent and selfish grandson? I was not so to my own children. I got easily angry or impatient with them, although I loved them. My love for my own children was somewhat more reasonable and reciprocal, I think, while my love for my grandson is, I should say, totally blind and one-sided. I don't understand why.
My reflection transports me back to the times I was a grandson myself. I haven't seen my own grandfather, since he had died already when I was born. My memory with my grandparent at all is only with my grandma whose hair was already as white as snow on the roof, and with a stooping back and several missing teeth. She always depended on a walking stick when she walked. I look around and see many modern grandfathers and grandmothers with their own grandchildren, but none of them look like my own grandma who died long ago.
I miss her. I realize now she must have loved me instinctively and blindly as I do my grandson now, but her love and affection went totally unappreciated by me. Furthermore I laughed at her, disliked her and avoided her. It was always and only my mother and father who were important to me. She was just a dependant, an addition or even a burden to the family. With aching remorse and pity belatedly I understand the neglected and difficult situation in which she found herself in the large but poor family. I did not know then that a girl grew up to be a granny some day. I thought that a granny was a granny by birth. Now I am being punished by my grandson for my ignorance and ingratitude.
(July 2, 2008)
- 이전글In Memoriam P.C. D. 21.01.13
- 다음글After Reading Anna Karenina 21.01.13
댓글목록
Raven767님의 댓글
Raven767 이름으로 검색 작성일WTF!! How can you be so cruel as to write this? Do you love your grandson or not? From what I see, he would be better to be adopted. First, you need to grow some balls and tell your daughter and her husband that their child is their responsibility. Then you need to stay out of this young boys life. If you don't think the little boy knows you dislike him, think again. Soon, he will really start to make your life miserable... and you'll deserve it.
zeth06님의 댓글의 댓글
zeth06 이름으로 검색 작성일Raven, yoru comments are insensitive and based on an asininely low level of thinking. This grandfather recognizes that economic as well as emergent cultural/social forces are responsible for his having to take a larger share of the responsibility. My grandparents didn't have to take care of me, I had siblings do that while I was a toddler. I thank them for that. This man does love his grandson...but come on! He's become the 2nd parent! G
홍태기님의 댓글
홍태기 이름으로 검색 작성일
이교수님,
저는 포항에 있는 고등학교에서 영어를 가르치고 있는 교사 홍태기라고 합니다. 최근에 인터넷상에서 코리아타임지를 읽다가 교수님께서 쓰신 A Grandfather's Blues 를 읽게 되었습니다. 너무 감명을 받아서 인터넷 상에서 검색을 해서 교수님의 다른 글들을 바로 "Ideas & Ideals"에서 찾을 수 있었고 또 교보문고에서 교수님의 수필집을 구입하기에 이르게 되었습니다.
영어학습에 교수님의 수필을 한번 사용해 보고 싶은 생각이 들어서 염치 불문하고 이렇게 메일을 보냅니다.
혹시 "화살과 노래"에 실린 글들의 영문수필을 구해볼 수 있는 방법이 있으면 안내해 주시면 감사하겠습니다. 절대로 다른 용도로는 사용하지 않겠습니다.
초면에 이런 실례의 글을 드리게 되어 죄송합니다. 일찍 찾아온 초여름 더위에 건강하시기를 바랍니다.
포항에서 홍태기 드림
홍태기님의 댓글
홍태기 이름으로 검색 작성일
이교수님,
답장 잘 받았습니다. 교수님의 수필을 이렇게 많이 접할 수 있게 되어 정말 다행입니다. 영어교육의 원로로서 앞으로 학생지도시에 궁금한 사항이 있으면 메일로 문의를 드리도록 겠습니다.
한곳에 머물러 있지 않고 계속 변화를 주어야 하는, 아니 저희영어교사들로 하여금 더 많은 변화를 요구하는 이 시대의 흐름에 부응하기 위해서라도 더 열심히 공부해야 할 것 같습니다.
저는 평소에 수업전반부에 신문활용수업을 하고 있습니다. 신문이야말로 살아있는 영어를 접할 수 있는 좋은 기회라고 보고 국내외 신문을 망라해서 좋은 글감을 그날 그날 찾아서 수업에 이용하고 있습니다. 앞으로는 교수님의 수필 중에서 좋은 부분을 발췌해서 한번 수업에도 이용해 볼까 구상중입니다.
교수님께서는 수필작업을 하실때 영문을 먼저 작성하시는지 아니면 한글작품으로 먼저 쓰시는지 제 나름대로 궁금해서 이렇게 말미에 여쭙니다.
다시한번 저의 메일에 답장해 주셔서 너무 감사드립니다.
최근에 작고한 미국 NBC " Meet the Press"프로그램의 Tim Russert이 자주 인용한 구절이 생각납니다.
"No exercise is better for the human heart than reaching down to help another human being."
포항에서 홍태기 드림
홍문령님의 댓글
홍문령 이름으로 검색 작성일
글 잘 읽었습니다. Korea times에 들러서 Opinion을 아무생각없이 눌렀는데 A Grandfather's Blues라는 제목의 글이 보이길래
쭉 읽어보았어요.
전체적으로는 글이 길면서도 인상깊고 분위기가 슬프기도 하고 해서 좋게 잘 읽었어요..
하지만 마지막부분에서 지금 상황이 할머니를 무시하고 그런 걸로 인해 벌을 받고 있다고 하셨는데,
손자를 보살피는 것을 벌로 생각하는 것은 도리가 아니라고 생각합니다.
어린 애 보살피는 것 굉장히 골치아프죠. 이렇게 하면 안되고 저렇게 하면 안되고...
그렇지만 그쪽의 손자인데 사랑하는 마음으로 보살피는 것도 축복이라고 생각하셔야지, 그걸 벌이라고 안좋게만 생각하시면
가뜩이나 까다로운 job인데 더 싫어지고 그러지 않을까요..?
지금 손자를 할머니께서 그쪽을 사랑하면서 보살펴주셨듯이
사랑으로 자랑스러하시면서 보살피시는 것이 더 좋을것 같네요
그쪽 상황을 제가 제대로 알지 못하면서 제 주제에 이런 의견을 보내는게 우습지만, 진심으로 하고 싶은 말이라서 이렇게 짧게 보내내요..^^
기분이 나쁘셨다면 죄송하구요, 그래도 제 진심이니 봐주시구요 ㅎㅎㅎ
그럼 안녕히 계시고, 좋은하루 되십시오.
애독자 홍문령 씀
luckylooch님의 댓글
luckylooch 이름으로 검색 작성일Well written. I loved reading this one. Thank you.
Richard E. Lucchesi님의 댓글
Richard E. Lucc… 이름으로 검색 작성일
Hello,
Please allow me to introduce myself, and then I have a short story to share with you if you don't mind.
My name is Richard Lucchesi, and I'm currently an English Professor at Kyung Hee University in Suwon. Periodically, I also submit pieces that have been published in the "Thoughts of the Times" section of the Korea Times.
I spent this past July visiting Korea, interviewing for Univeristy positions here, and searching out a place to live. I stumbled upon your piece "A Grandfather's Blues" during this time, and thought it was very well written. I never forgot about it.
So anyhow, last semester (in the fall) came and went quickly, and I learned a bit more about how to approach teaching English to Korean University students. This spring, I have been issuing more work to them, including journal reading and writing. While looking for good articles and pieces to use for their journal work, I remembered what you wrote, looked it up on the web, and included it to be read as an assignment in a few of my classes. Well let me tell you, it was a hit! So much so, that in one form or another, I've assigned it to be read by every class I teach this semester. Therefore, with class sizes of 35, more than 170 students have now read, summarized and given their opinion on that one single story you wrote.
I can't tell you the how many students have commented and shared their personal life history with me, related, of course, to 'A Grandfather's Blues'. A good chunk of my students have had similar experiences here, being raised by their grandparents at one point or another due to the more modern two income family household. Though that may not surprise you, this might: Your story caused most of them to reflect on how they've neglected their grandparents' love throughout their childhood, similar to how you may had done when you were young, and how your grandson may sometimes treat you now. Quite a few of them wrote about how they're going to try and visit or call their grandparents more often now. Some commented in regret, revealing a lost opportunity because their grandparents had already passed away. You have no idea the positive impact you have made on these impressionable students of mine.
Many of them felt bad about how your grandson neglects to realize how hard you're working for him. Further, even more of them disapproved of the way your daughter and wife side with him instead of with you, and how they've taken your baby-sitting service for granted, as if revoking your priviledge to watch him would be a punishment. Some made comments that some form of daycare needs to be instituted in Korea, possibly by the government, allowing the grandparents to take a rest. Others took the traditional approach and said that the mother should be home with her children instead of working.
The majority of work I assign to be read is usually written by native English speakers. Therefore, these students could more easily relate to what you wrote versus the rest of the stuff I use, because you all share the same ethnicity. This sometimes can make all the difference. If English teachers and professors who read the Korea Times don't introduce some of these great pieces written within the paper, they could largely go lost by the Korean population here if their reading the newspaper in 'Hangul' instead. I'm happy and proud to have used some of your work in my classes.
Overall, I wanted you to know about the substantial impact you've made on Korean university students from all over the country just from that one little story. Next semester, I'd like to use the piece again in some of my classes. I would also like to invite you in as a guest speaker after we're done with the piece as a guest lecturer if you're interested. As well, I'm doing some research on English learning here in Korea, and would like to ask you a few questions sometime if that's possible.
Sincerely,
Richard
PS- As if the story you wrote wasn't enough: I am also an instructor in a English Teacher Training Program here at Kyung Hee, and 3 of the English teachers I currently instruct had you as a professor at Chung-Ang some years ago. They all remember you fondly, and I thought that was an interesting coincidence.
--
Richard E. Lucchesi
Kyung Hee University
Institute of International Education
Full Time English Professor
[email protected]
이창국님의 댓글의 댓글
이창국
쪽지보내기
메일보내기
자기소개
아이디로 검색
전체게시물
작성일
Prof. Richard E. Lucchesi;
Sir, I have to thank you very much for your long letter sent to me in which you mentioned about one my Korea Time's essays entitled "A Grandfather's Blues" with much favor and praise. It is very kind of you to make such a generous comment on somebody's writing as a man who is a writer and professor himself in the university. I feel immensely
grateful, honored and rewarded for my work by your letter. Thank you very much indeed.
I agree with you on all points related to my essay and at the same time to teaching English to Korean students in general, particularly on the matter of teaching materials. And it would be a great honor for me to be invited as a guest speaker to your class. I welcome that opportunity anytime when it be offered to me. Feel free to contact me through e-mail or my cell phone (010-6712-4487) any time you like.
Thank you again. I hope we will keep in touch.
Lee Chang-kook
Emeritus Professor of English
Chung-Ang University
Seoul, Korea
